


Drunk History

by MacGirl



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacGirl/pseuds/MacGirl
Summary: Scott and Tessa reveal their rise to Olympic history (and possibly more) on the show, Drunk History.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not finished, but I got ideas. This is my first attempt at chapters, and we'll see how that goes.
> 
> Right now, I'm thinking this might be a prequel to Better than Uber... but then again, it could be alone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and leave any suggestions or comments.

“Remind me to kill you after this is over.” Tessa’s eyes were narrowed with fiery anger. She hissed between clenched teeth, “I can’t believe you talked me into this!” She noticed the producers walking towards them, and she plastered on her media-day game face with her trademark smile.

If Scott was concerned, he definitely didn’t show any outwards signs of distress. His posture remained relaxed, his right hand remained on the small of her back, and his left hand was holding his bottle of water. He smiled warmly at the two producers walking towards them, and finally removed his hand from Tessa to shake hands. This was probably the first show they had done where he wasn’t actually nervous but excited. He honestly couldn’t wait to tape an episode of one of his favorite shows, even if that meant he had to use some underhanded tactics to get Tessa’s participation.

“Okay, you two look amazing. Actually, you look a little too amazing. We are much more relaxed around here. We need you to not look so put together. Can we get you to change into something more casual or more comfortable?” 

Tessa looked down at her power pantsuit that was perfectly coordinated with Scott’s pocket square. “I am comfortable.” Her smile didn’t waver, and her voice was flinty. She shot daggers at Scott. Not only was she doing this show, but now they wanted her to change into ratty clothes for filming… this was so not on brand for her.

Scott tilted his head to look at her disappointingly, ’T, just go get something you’d wear for brunch.” He knew he had to say this next part carefully to get her to comply, “You look amazing no matter what, but you can show off something more accessible to all the women out there. Something they can aspire to recreate. Think of how many cut up jean jackets you inspired!” Her smile was starting to soften into a more natural grin, “What about that new top you got on tour?”

The producers were nervously looking at one another, and hoping that this little side conversation between the guest stars would work. There was plenty of time for her to change, but she hadn’t exactly been the most accommodating host since they showed up a couple of hours ago. There was palpable tension between the two, and they were preparing for a train wreck of an episode. “Gentleman, give me a few minutes. I have something that should work.” She carefully walked past the crew in her kitchen and living room to make her way back to her bedroom.

Excusing himself, Scott ran upstairs to his apartment to change into his standard jeans and Canada shirt. Looking in the mirror, he remembered the premise of the show and quickly removed the Canada shirt. He pulled out a long-sleeve, charcoal grey henley shirt instead. No labels, no worries of embarrassing any potential sponsors.

He was back at Tessa’s in 5 minutes, and was able to chat with the light guy, Joe, who was still adjusting equipment in her living room. Tessa reappeared a few moments later, and just like every time he first sees her, she takes his breath away. He heard Joe suddenly suck in his breath, and he watched this asshole look Tessa’s body up and down like she was a stripper on a pole. Scott had to fight the urge to punch the guy he was just offering SOI tickets to seconds ago. He pulled his shoulders back, and walked over to Tessa and put his arm around her protectively, and gave Joe a possessive look to back away. The man’s eyes widened, and he quickly retreated to his lights.

“What was that all about? Are you going to pee on me next?” Tessa rolled her eyes at the swamp of testosterone she was wading through in her living room. “Seriously, Scott, you can’t get upset every time someone with a penis looks at me.” Looking across the room at Joe’s beer belly and ass-crack revealing jeans, she had second thoughts and squeezed his hand, “But thanks for shutting that one down.”

He smiled the smile that was reserved just for her. The one that made her heart flutter, and made her want to declare to the world that he was hers. The one that made her wish they could retreat to her bedroom, and forget all the pressures and demands that came with celebrity and winning gold.

Lost in their bubble, they didn’t hear the host, Derek Waters, calling their name. “Wow, this is going to be a great show,” he laughed. “You haven’t even started drinking yet, and you’re already ignoring me.”

“Sorry, man.” Scott turned to shake his hand, “Huge fan. Huge! I’m so excited we were asked to participate.” 

Derek smiled at him, but his eyes were on Tessa. “You are even more beautiful in person. We are delighted to have you,” He turned to include Scott, “BOTH of you on the show. You know this is a first. We’ve never actually had the individuals tell us their own personal history before. We aren’t really sure if it will work. So I’m just going to warn you, this probably won’t ever make it to air.”

Tessa’s eyes lit up at this possibility, and the evening’s first genuine full-wattage smile burst across her face. She quickly attempted to hide her hopefulness, and made a one-sided frown, “Well, that would be a shame, but we totally understand and support your decisions.” 

“Well, we will just have to wait and see how this all turns out… are you ready for a drink?” Derek smiled and held his arm out to invite Tessa into her own kitchen. “We will go ahead and start filming, so this is just really informal. Right now, you’re just talking to me. I’ll ask some questions when it is time to hear the story. Sounds good?”

They were both a little nervous, but quickly nodded and were looking forward to getting some drinks. They had hit up the liquor store earlier that day, and they were surprised that the crew had brought a few bottles of various liquors, beer, and wine to supplement their personal stash. They were quickly understanding that it wasn’t just Drunk History, but drunk everyone. The three crew members and producers had made drinks, and it was definitely a relaxed atmosphere. Tessa was even surprised at the intimate lighting that made everything more comfortable and safe.

Scott went to grab a beer, but Derek shook his head at his choice. “It would really be better for the shoot if you started with something harder. Whiskey? Vodka? Tequila? You can switch to beer as the evening goes on.” He looked over at Tessa as she was starting to uncork a bottle of Pinot Noir. “You too. We’ll be here all night if you start off with wine and beer.” 

“You’ve obviously never drank with, T.” Scott laughed. He knew from first hand experience how low Tessa’s tolerance to alcohol was, especially now so soon after depriving themselves for months during intense training. “I’ll bet you a case of beer, she will be tipsy after one glass of wine. I’ll take the Crown,” Scott nodded towards the bottle of Crown Royal. “But Tessa should stick to wine.”

Skeptical eyebrows were raised as everyone looked toward Tessa. She was blushing, but thankful that Scott was making it possible for her to avoid drinking hard liquor. She would be much less likely to let anything inappropriate happen if she stuck to wine. 

Derek shrugged unconcerned, “Whatever, but can you switch to white. Red looks like shit on film.” He nodded towards the camera that was already recording this interaction. “It stains your teeth, and people have a tendency to spill… a lot… as the evening goes on.”

They didn’t settle into the couch until everyone was on their second drink, and the room was light with laughter. Despite switching to rose wine, she knew she was going to be in trouble if she didn’t get some water soon. Looking over at Scott, his head was thrown back in laughter and she could see his cheeks slightly flushed from the whiskey. 

“So… this is kind of weird for us. We are talking to two history makers, and we are going to get their drunken recollection of how they became legendary bad asses in ice dancing. We normally do more serious historical pieces, no offense, but we caved like Ellen under pressure to get these two on air.”

 

Her head was spinning. No, was that her body that was spinning? Was she on the ice with her eyes closed? She tried to open one eye, but her eyelashes felt like they were glued together. She heard a muffled groggy moan to her left. Even in her confused (and was she still drunk?) daze, she would know Scott’s definitive hungover wails from the grave. This confirmed at least a couple of things for her. One, she was not skating. Two, her body was not spinning - that meant it was just her head swimming in alcohol. Three, she was thoroughly fucked last night. 

That thought made the corners of her mouth curl upward in a satisfied, Cheshire cat like grin. She still couldn’t open her eyes, her head felt like it was going to burst at the temples, and she wasn’t sure if she was going to throw up, but she could still feel the pleasurable soreness from Scott being inside her the night before.

Her hand reached out to swat at Scott “I hate you and love you right now.” This declaration of her current emotional state elicited another moan from Scott, and she could hear him wallow deeper into the pillow. She lifted her hand to help her separate her false eyelashes so that she could open her eyes. She slowly turned her head to look at Scott through her one freed eye. All she could see was disheveled dark hair and the lean, bare muscles of his back. Another moan as he moved his arms underneath his head, and she had to swallow back her lust while she watched his arms flex and his shoulders tighten against her white bed sheets.

“T… I think last night was a terrible mistake.” His face was still smothered in her pillow, and her heart nearly dropped at his words. She immediately realized he was talking about their participation in the show, and the insane amount of alcohol both had consumed. “T, I really don’t remember them leaving. Oh my god, did we film a porno last night?” He winced at the pain from his chuckle, but he was only half joking because neither could remember what exactly happened. 

“Remember, they said it probably wouldn’t even air. I’m sure we were okay.” Tessa’s other eye was finally free, and both eyes were looking at Scott begging for reassurance. He was finally able to meet her gaze, but he wasn’t nearly as optimistic. He gave one nod, and moaned again as he shifted to his back. He opened his arms, and she matched his groan as she moved over to fit against his side. 

“I’ve never been so thankful for canceling rehearsal. Thank god, we don’t have any events scheduled for today. We have to recover.” She kissed his chest as she laid her heavy head down below his shoulder. She started to doze back to sleep, when the sound of her phone triggered more groans from Scott.

With sloth-like hurry and precision, Tessa reached her phone and began to read the text from Derek, “T & S. GREAT footage. Can’t wait for production. UR amazing! Biggest episode EVER! Tell S I got his beer!” They both looked at each other. Both were too debilitated to be upset at this point, and they both simultaneously whispered “Fuck” as they fell back to sleep. They will deal with this tomorrow.


	2. The Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Tessa get a preview of the episode.

Tessa took one look at the new text on her phone, and panic was bubbling inside her. “Scott!” Pacing the floor of her kitchen, she couldn’t stop reading the message. “Scott!” 

Running from her bedroom, Scott rounded the corner of the island to stop her movements. “Whoa, babe… it can’t be that baaa…” his voice trailed off as he read the message from Derek, “Fuck.” He looked up at her, “They're really going to air it?”

Shaking hands were on either side of her temples, and she closed her eyes to concentrate. She nodded her head, and she opened her eyes to look at Scott with fear. They still weren’t 100% sure what exactly they had said or done on camera. They had gotten snippets of information from various sources… like Aubrey Plaza was playing Tessa and James Lafferty was playing Scott. Kate Mulgrew was playing Marina. Adam Rippon was involved in some way, because he had sent Tessa flowers and chocolate with an apology note. 

He wrapped her in his arms, and nudged his forehead against hers, “At least we get to see it first?” His eyebrows were doing that thing that she loved, “We won’t be blindsided when it airs.”

“I guess it isn’t the worst thing if we out ourselves while drunk on television.” She mumbles into his chest. Breathing deeply, Scott’s scent and strong arms around her always seems to soothe out any crisis on the horizon. 

He was intentionally slowing his breathing to help calm Tessa, and to walk her back from this latest catastrophe. Kissing the top of her head, he chuckled, “I’m way more worried about whatever we said about Marina and Meryl. I’m ready to tell everyone we’re together. I think it would make everything settle down… people would leave us alone.” He held her close as if they were preparing to perform, the sound of him inhaling the scent of her hair filled her ear.

“You’re right.” She pulled back to make eye contact. He cocked an eyebrow at this admission that doesn’t come often. “Worst case scenario? We made out on television. We said how we really feel about Marina and Meryl. Best case scenario? We were adorable and hilarious. We sell more tour tickets and we get some new endorsements.”

Kissing her nose before letting her go, “Always working… I’m looking forward to you keeping me in this lifestyle I’ve become so accustomed.” She rolled her eyes as he returned to watch the game in her bedroom. 

 

Nearly an hour later, Tessa jumped at the sound of her doorbell. She was expecting him, but she was still startled and nervous when she heard the shrill ringing of his arrival. She soothed the skirt of her sundress, checked her makeup one last time, and put a hand to her messy bun for a little reassurance before she opened the door. She beamed an interview worthy smile to Derek, and said a little prayer that all would be well.

“Stunning as always! Is Scott joining us tonight?” Was it her imagination or did he knowingly look down the hall towards her bedroom? Derek’s eyes shifted back towards her face, and she knew it was not her imagination, and her smile faltered for a brief second. Quickly regaining her composure, she motioned for Derek to follow her to the living area. 

“He’s upstairs in his apartment.” She made sure to add extra emphasis to “his” and her eyes dared Derek to make a comment. He remained silent, but damn, he looked amused. “He should be down any minute. Let me get you a drink.” Tessa was wishing Scott had simply stayed to help with defuse this awkward situation, but they had agreed that it would be better for him to arrive a few minutes later. 

“Noooo! I can’t keep up with you two! I’m sticking to water tonight, but I’ve got some beer that will be delivered a little later for Scott. A bet is a bet.” She narrowed her eyes and her laughter was forced, but she doubted he could tell. Her stomach was in knots, and her anxiety was at levels that could warrant a prescription. Mentally preparing herself, she tried to hide her breathing exercises… it was always so much easier with Scott. 

“We are preparing for tour, so just water tonight. We might throw in some lemon if we feel like celebrating…” She looked at him for some sort of clue, and her voice trailed off with uncertainty. “Do we have reason to celebrate?”

He stared at her for a moment, and then his laughter was threatening the walls of her apartment. The man had literal tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. He looked at her befuddled expression, and started cackling again. Placing his hands on his knees, he looked up at her wheezing, “Oh my god… you don’t remember.” Hysterical laughing slowly sputtered to a mild chuckle, “I think you’ll both be happy with the end result.”

Staring into Derek’s eyes, all Tessa could think was: Where the fuck was Scott?

 

Scott was about to enter Tessa’s apartment when he stopped at the door. Does he just enter the door like he normally does? He’s sure it isn’t locked, she’s expecting him, but should he try using his key to show that he doesn’t know that? Or does it look bad that he uses his key to enter her apartment? Does he knock? Well, that just looks silly and ridiculously formal. Does he text her to let her know that he’s here? Damnit, this wasn’t something they rehearsed and he doesn’t want to add fuel to her anger. After debating each scenario for longer than he should, he decides he should knock and open the door simultaneously. Which is exactly what he is starting to do, when his phone chimes with a new text.

“Where the fuck are you?! Get your ass down here NOW!” His eyes widen, and he just opens the door. Shit! He forgot to knock. He calls out to announce his arrival, “Tess? It’s Scott.” Damnit, that sounded stupid. Why would he say that? Turning the corner to her living area, he wishes he could turn around and leave as soon as he sees her face.

Derek jumps up from the couch to greet him, and is smiling broadly at Scott. “Scott! Man, you’re hilarious! I can’t wait to catch that hockey game with you.” Scott is smiling and nodding with no clue what he’s talking about. “I’ve already got the tickets, so make sure to let me know when you get to town. And don’t forget the touque!”

“Yeah, man. That sounds great! I can’t believe you’ve already got tickets.” He looked over at Tessa with his SOS eyebrows, but she has been subtly shaking her head since Derek started talking. She was already pissed, and she was leaving him out on his own. Fuck, he had to figure out when he was supposed to be in New York for this upcoming date night with Derek.

“Damn!” Derek was laughing again, “Neither one of you have a clue what happened the other night?!” Tessa sighed, and looked at Scott with exasperation as she flung her arms in the air. “Look guys, I’m not a bad guy. I promised we tried to edit as much as we could. I really think it turned out pretty well considering.” He handed Tessa a DVD with the upcoming episode, and relaxed back on the couch. “Come on,” he pat the seat cushion next to him. “Tell me what you think.”  
Scott and Tessa exchanged nervous glances. Scott reached for her hand, and their fingers instinctively intertwined into their signature hold that had launched a thousand tweets and blogs. Together they sat down next to Derek to watch the opening segment of their episode.

The first two minutes into the episode felt like two hours. Tessa’s chest was rapidly rising and falling, and she felt like she was going to throw up in Derek’s lap. Scott was on the other side of her, gripping her hand with enough pressure to make a lesser person cry. Tension radiated off him like body heat, and she wished she had chosen to sit alone in the chair adjacent to the couch. Scott always influenced her mood, and she couldn’t handle both of their worrying right now.

The first few minutes were uneventful. It was mostly montages of Scott and Tessa preparing various drinks throughout the night, each round with more giggles and spills. Finally, Derek asked about their first encounter. This bullshit was so well rehearsed, they could’ve recited their childhood partnership with lethal alcohol blood level. Scott smiled and squeezed her hand - they nailed it.

Tessa giggled as their words were played out on the screen by actors. They were right, that actor from One Tree Hill did remind her of Scott. She was skeptical though, he was definitely playing Scott too straight and without the humor and exuberance of his personality. Aubrey Plaza was hilarious as she played her emotionless and with sarcastic faces as she was pretending to skate. 

The scene quickly shifted to Marina, and Tessa cringed. They really played upon Russian stereotypes (I mean they definitely had ALL the Canadian stereotypes for them, but this was not flattering at all), and had what sounded like the Darth Vader march from Star Wars playing each time she came on screen. Scott’s voice played over, and Tessa was relieved that it wasn’t anything they hadn’t said before. B2Ten’s media prep and mental coaches must have been so well ingrained that they could rise above a dozen shots of Crown.

It was fucking hilarious to watch the actors and their depiction of the events at Vancouver and Sochi. They had relaxed against each other, and were genuinely amused and pleased until the footage suddenly shifted back to drunk Tessa and Scott. Their recorded voices had stopped sharing stories, and there was a silence on film as the camera recorded how they had just stopped. They stopped talking. They stopped moving. They were just staring into each other’s eyes, their chests were rising and falling in unison, and they were oblivious to the questions that Derek lobbed at them. It was sixty seconds of them eye-fucking each other, until Scott finally gave the most arrogant “I’m getting laid tonight” half grin she had ever seen, and broke eye contact with her to attempt to focus on Derek. They were holding hands, and he brought her hand to his lips and then settled against his heart as he dropped his head back against the couch cushions, and looked over at her again with absolute adoration.

The show resumed with the actors, but the uneasiness returned. This was only Sochi… they hadn’t even gotten to retirement and the comeback yet… and they had already made it perfectly clear they were liars. They were NOT definitely not dating.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Tessa discover two things: 
> 
> 1\. This was not a good idea.  
> 2\. There is a director's cut.

The podium at Sochi was definitely exaggerated and overly dramatic. Ryan Phillippe and Cobie Smulders skip to the podium as Charlie and Meryl, stick their tongues out, shoot their middle fingers up, and rip the golds medals from James and Aubrey. Derek’s voice over, “Those damn American assholes stole your gold!” Ryan and Cobie are laughing hysterically as they obnoxiously and erotically rub the gold medals all across their bodies. James and Aubrey are playing them as super innocent, crestfallen, and horrified at their American rivals. 

Tessa’s mouth drops in panic, but before she can say anything Scott’s voice plays over the scene as James steps up to set the record straight. “Wait… that’s not what happened. They aren’t assholes, we grew up together.” Ryan and Cobie shrug, and walk off camera, and the screen returns to drunk Scott and Tessa… well drunk Scott, Tessa is asleep on the side of the couch while he absentmindedly rubs her feet and calves that are draped across his lap. “I mean, we definitely wanted to win, and we felt like we could’ve beat them, and we felt alone, and the judging was bullshit all season, but Charlie and Meryl aren’t bad people. Hell, Charlie was one of my closest friends… but BEEP Marina.” and then the Darth Vader music began to swell, but then it quickly screeched to a halt as Scott shook his head and bit his tongue. “You know what… scratch that. Nope, she was a good coach until she wasn’t. We wouldn’t have had PyeongChang if we didn’t have Sochi… let’s move on.”

One of the show’s silent movie reels begins to play with the title card, “RETIREMENT.” It is a super speedy montage of Aubrey and James pretending to skate on tour, and then Aubrey out posing, cutting ribbons, going to school, designing, and thriving out alone without her partner. Scott’s voice was narrating all of Tessa’s retirement achievements with pride, and then it showed James in a pair of boxers watching hockey on television surrounded by empty beer bottles. Scott erupted in a deep full-body laugh, and he instantly squeezed Tessa’s hand letting her know how grateful he was that THAT was not his reality. 

More scenes of James and Aubrey doing boring, mundane stuff. “We tried really hard to be normal. We needed a break from coaches, competition, judges, and even each other.” Scott’s voice broke on that one, and the camera cuts back to drunken Scott wiping his eyes. The scene quickly cuts back to a split screen of James and Aubrey separated from each other, but both crying while wearing their Sochi medals. Aubrey had chocolate smeared across her face as she watched videos of their actual performance from Sochi. She was dressed in revealing Adidas workout gear, and she suddenly stopped to take a perfect selfie before sobbing and shoving chocolate into her mouth. James was wearing the outfit from competition and dancing with a broom that had Tessa’s face taped to it. 

Scott clenched his fists, and his jaw looked like it was going to snap it was so tight. Tessa knew there were only a few things that were off limits with him, and their skating partnership was at the top of that very small list. This scene would definitely not make it to air. However, she was starting to relax, because other than the couch and eye-fucking it wasn't nearly as bad as she had imagined, and if she was being honest, she thought it was pretty innocent and funny so far... 

The fast-motion images slowed to show Aubrey wearing Tessa’s lilac comeback dress. The camera closes in on her face as she has the best bitchiest face, “Ta - dah! We’re back, bitches!” Tessa’s drunken voice is perfectly in sync with Aubrey’s mouth as she drawled "bitches" into about 20 syllables. Tessa groans and hides her face into Scott’s shoulder as the screen shifts back to drunk Tessa. She is suddenly awake, and trying to stand up as she attempts to tell their comeback announcement. “So many shows. So many BEEP shows ask the exact. same. BEEP question. How many ways we got to say it? Hell, yeah, we’re coming back for gold BEEP-BEEP!” She was absolutely mortified… they beeped it, but it was very obvious that Tessa Virtue just said “mother fuckers” on television. Drunken Tessa, Scott, and Derek are laughing hysterically and Tessa falls onto Scott on the couch. He wraps his arms around her, while she closes her eyes and literally purrs into his chest as he kisses her on the temple.

Derek could feel Tessa’s widened eyes on his profile. He refused to look at her or to stop the episode until the very end. Tessa nudged Scott with her shoulder, and gave him a look with her tilted head… they didn’t need words, he knew that he was going to have to make that scene disappear from the final episode, even if that meant keeping the dancing broom bit.

“We came back better than ever. We had an amazing team with Marie-France and Patchy-PATCH!” Drunk Tessa sang this entirely new nickname for Patrice in the same fashion as the Spongebob Squarepants theme song. Whoa! Aubrey had her arms wrapped around the shoulders of their skating parents! She can’t believe that they actually filmed this, and didn’t tell them! This is almost enough to make them forget that drunken couch scene a few moments earlier, and they actually do forget it when they see Patch throw his spritzer over his shoulder and douse James and Aubrey with a bucket labeled, “Tears of our Enemies, Sweat of our Foes.”

“Our comeback season was undefeated… we kick all the ass!” Tessa’s voice was giggly and slurring as Aubrey and James were draped with medal after medal until it was just ridiculous, and they were struggling to stand beneath the weight. “And then Scott picked the most romantic music for us,” her voice was sleepy and full of sighs. Aubrey was batting her eyes at James, and the two were doing their best to recreate the infamous gazes of Tessa and Scott. 

“That’s when you started BEEPing on ice.” Derek’s voice was followed with stereotypical porno background music. Suddenly, Aubrey was straddling James, and their hands were running along each other’s face, neck, and body. They were both making orgasmic faces as the background spun as if they were actually on ice, James was kissing Aubrey's neck but never quite touching her lips.

The scene abruptly cuts to drunk Scott and Tessa. They are staring at him dumbfounded, and they both burst out laughing. “Did you read the tweets?!” Tessa screeches as she is slapping Scott’s shoulder, “Scott impregnated all of Canada.”

Drunk Scott makes a very serious face, “I have very potent sperm.” The camera captures all three of them cackling, snorting, and laughing so hard they can’t breathe. Drunk Tessa falls off the couch and is clinging to Scott’s leg.

Very-sober Scott throws his head back in frustration and embarrassment. “I said ‘sperm’ on television.” He looks over incredulously at Derek, “I thought you said you edited this! Holy shit, I’d hate to see what you cut out!”

“Shhhhh… I’ll show you the 'Director's Cut' once we finish.” Derek lifted his eyebrows in glee. Tessa let out an involuntary shriek, and Scott rubbed his hand across his face. Why did he ever think this was a good idea?


	7. Adam Ruins Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa understands why Adam sent flowers AND chocolate.

Tessa and Scott turn their attention back to the remaining few minutes of the episode. Tessa is mentally calculating how much damage this video could do, and how much trouble it would be to get it all shut down. Looking over at Scott’s tense shoulders, his thumb is practically bleeding from his near constant nail biting today. Leaning into him, she softly kisses his shoulder to let him know they will be okay. This isn’t his fault… well, it is absolutely his fault, but she won’t continue to punish or blame him. Just like every other obstacle, hurdle, or challenge over the past twenty years, they will face it together.

“We’re from CANADA… I had like 3 social media posts before this year’s Olympics… we did not expect the crazy that came after Korea.” (They flash an actual image of Scott’s Instagram page with all 13 posts from the past four years.) Drunk Scott and Tessa have collected themselves back on the couch. Scott’s left arm was pulled back behind his head, the hem of his shirt had lifted up to show off a couple of inches of his still Olympic-toned abdomen above his jeans. His legs were stretched out in front of him, and his eyes definitely had an alcoholic glaze, but he appeared honest… unrestricted, unrehearsed, and contemplative. 

Drunk Tessa was leaning forward, her forearms were resting on her knees. Staring intently at Derek as her head kind of bobbed and swayed. Her eyeliner was smudged underneath her eyes, and she looked like she was on the verge of passing out or crying.

The show cut to James and Aubrey out in public with reporters surrounding them, “No one seemed to care about our journey… all they wanted to know was if we were BEEPing or had we ever BEEP. It was like a BEEPing race was on to find out if we’re a couple. Our family was harassed… our friends. It was insane. It IS insane.” The show cut back to Scott looking at Tessa without any censorship or worries of cameras or anyone else. Even on television, the longing was palpable, and even Derek was getting misty eyed as he felt like an intruder into an intimate moment. He reached his hand out to pat her back, and she fell back into his chest. 

Her hands were lightly stroking the exposed skin above his jeans. Her voice was muffled from turning into the side of his chest, “It has been nearly suffocating and overwhelming… this frenzy for our relationship status. We just want to be…” Her face made a brief appearance from Scott's chest, and her eyes were twinkling from unshed tears.

The new scene made Tessa groan, as she suddenly understood why Adam had sent chocolates and flowers. There he was recreating his commentary with Leslie Jones who exclaimed, “Are they dating? They are dating now!” and then his gif-worthy “This seems private,” complete with facial expressions and hand gestures. Next he was breaking the fourth wall, and speaking directly to the camera with a wink, “Love you T, but they told me I could be Ellen.”

Aubrey and James did an embarrassing dance out to greet Adam’s hilarious and totally respectful impression of Ellen. “So you’re a couple,” is followed with Adam turning to the camera directly, addressing Scott and Tessa, “Just BEEPing admit you’re a goddamn couple already!” The screen momentarily cuts to drunk Tessa and Scott, cuddled together asleep on the couch, as Derek is seen in the background snooping through her stuff. The camera pans to Aubrey as she breaks character and finally speaks for the first time in the episode to Adam, “What’s the BEEPing deal? Are they BEEPing or not?” The episode zooms in on Adam’s all-knowing smile as he shrugs his shoulders and holds his hands out. The last shot of the episode is Adam winking at the camera, while James yells, “Wait… we don’t even get to find out if they’re really together?!”

Derek lost track of time in the silence of Tessa’s apartment. He was staring at the two Olympians, waiting for them to break their stoic contemplation. He knew they might be angry with some elements, but it really was the safest version he could cobble together from the footage of that night. He knew he would only need to show them the Director’s Cut to illustrate his allegiance to Team VM.

“I can’t… I think I need a beer before I deconstruct this.” Scott jumped off the couch as if he was pinched. Derek and Tessa both accepted the beers he brought back to the living area, and the three stared at each other in a triangle of broken trust. 

“We are going to insist on some adjustments.” Tessa was the first to speak after a long drag of her beer. She was shooting green daggers from her eyes as she stared at Derek over the rim of her beer bottle. She was almost positive that the show’s agreement gave them no legal rights to editing and used footage, but she was always secretly surprised at how often other people agreed with her when she asked.

Derek shook his head, and a warm smile filled his face. “I have two DVDs for you… one is the director’s cut.” Handing the DVD to Tessa he motioned for her to insert it into her player. “This is the episode I would show if I was a real asshole, and just wanted viewers.” He shrugged with a small smile, “Or maybe this is the episode I’d show two people who need a fucking wake up call to finally admit they are more than business partners or whatever in the fuck you’re calling yourselves these days.”

The episode begins pretty similarly to the original episode they had just seen with one major exception. In the beginning moments when they are shown pouring drinks, the camera cuts to Tessa and Scott in the kitchen. “This is why you won the bet,” Derek smirks. Tessa drained the last of her first glass of wine, and holds the glass horizontally for Derek to refill. She starts to lightly touch her nose and lips with the tips of her fingers. Scott is quietly chuckling at her as she looks at him and giggles, “My nose is numb.” She starts a provocative dance sequence towards him until she is fully pressed up against the front of his body, and she’s singing… “I can’t feel my face when I’m with you… but I love it… but I love you,” and then she lightly kisses him on the lips. She pulls back with sparkling eyes only for Scott, “but I love you.” 

Derek pauses the video. “That’s less than two minutes into the episode. There’s so much more…” He handed the other DVD to Scott, “This is all of the unedited footage from that night. This is what happened when the crew left, and it was just the three of us. This is the footage that should probably be destroyed… unless you like that sort of thing.” He winked at Tessa and slapped Scott on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I do all my own editing. I’m the only one who has seen this.”

Derek was gathering his small collection of things and walked alone towards the door. “I really enjoyed this entire experience. If you’d ever like to tell someone else’s history, I’d love to have you back on the show… Reminder, you’re both coming to New York for the hockey game after this airs. I’ll get with you about the details later.” He gave a nod to both of them. He wanted to say something poetic and inspirational to these idiots in love, but he decided who was he to impart romantic advice and he just hoped they decided to watch the unedited footage.


	8. Director's Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Director's Cut was nearly identical... except for a couple of key scenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... This little idea got WAY more attention than I thought it would! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It was definitely more fun to write than my attempts at angst LOL.
> 
> Probably one more chapter - there's still unedited footage to discover. :) And I don't know how I skipped so many chapters - this is what happens when I write and post while sleep deprived!

Together and finally alone, Tessa and Scott sat next to one another on the couch. Each staring straight ahead at the paused image of their mutually adoring gazes with lips reaching for another kiss. Swallowing hard, Scott reached out to grab Tessa’s hand and nodded his head for her to resume the video.

“I love you,” Scott matches Tessa’s singing while his arms roam from her waist to around her back as they sway to the imaginary music in their heads. 

Derek is laughing, “Wait a minute… I thought you didn’t do karaoke!” Drunk Tessa ignores him, and continues to dance to the music that isn’t playing. Her hands are snaking through Scott’s hair, and she leans even closer to nip along his neck and shoulder. It is like watching the sexy viral practice/warmup videos of themselves, only they aren’t in costume, they aren’t on ice, and they aren’t in character… they are themselves, just Tessa and Scott, and they are oblivious to the crew as they begin making out in her kitchen. 

“So… ahem… I thought you guys said you’re… non, non, non, nous ne sommes pas un couple?” They finally break apart at Derek’s sarcasm and smirking grin, and Drunk Tessa’s flushed cheeks burn even redder as her head slowly starts to pan her kitchen and she makes direct eye contact into the camera. Her expression is an open book that clearly demonstrates the nanosecond she realizes what has just transpired, and she begins shaking her head and her eyes silently plead with Derek.

“Don’t worry… we are interested in history, not current affairs.” Derek winked at her and grabbed his drink from the counter. Everyone was on at least their second drink as they moved into the living room. The childhood partner scene was identical to the one they previously saw. Sober Tessa was relieved that they hadn’t revealed any of their more private teenage moments while drinking.

Actually, as the episode continued to play, they both relaxed significantly. The Director’s Cut was essentially the exact same video, except for the inclusion of one-drink-Tessa’s impromptu karaoke love declaration. No embarrassing outbursts about Marina or Meryl… everything was great, until she mentioned Moulin Rouge.

“Our comeback season was undefeated… we kick all the ass!” Tessa’s voice was giggly and slurring as Aubrey and James were draped with medal after medal until it was just ridiculous, and they were struggling to stand beneath the weight. “And then Scott picked the most romantic music for us,” her voice was sleepy and full of sighs. Instead of cutting to Aubrey and James, the camera was squarely on drunken Tessa. She was curled into Scott's side, wearing her athletic workout pants and one of her Adidas sweaters (when did she change??). “Moulin Rouge… because it reminded him of me… not because she dies or anything like that… or that she’s a prostitute… wait…” Her eyebrows furrow over her eyes as she straddles Scott’s lap. Hands on his shoulders, “Uh… care to share with the class which of those reminded you of me, Mr. Moir?” 

Drunk Scott is laughing as both of his hands gently grasp either side of her face, one thumb caressing her cheek, the other thumb running along her jaw to her ear. “Do you really want me to tell you… again?” One eyebrow is cocked, his head tilts slightly to the right, his tongue softly moistens his lips, and a thumb brushes across her lips before moving down to her hips pushing her even closer to him. 

“Dude, this is a family show… wait a minute, BEEP, no its not! Carry on!” Derek is laughing out of sight, as the camera is focused on capturing every detail of their intimacy. Drunk Scott is no longer laughing, and his eyes appear to be communicating with Tessa’s heart and deepest levels of her unconscious. 

Foreheads pressed together, lips separated only by a breath, “You taught me…” the breath evaporates as their lips whisper across each other. “That the greatest thing…” his lips brand the words onto her mouth, “is just to love…” the whisper turns into a more determined fervor. “And be loved in return.” 

The only thing separating their bodies are a few layers of clothes, and despite the massive amounts of alcohol, Sober Tessa thinks their kiss is straight out of a rom-com perfection. His hands are freeing her hair from the bun on top of her head, and damn… her hair looks great as it cascades down her back. Scott squeezes her hand, and brings it to his lips, never taking his eyes off their images on the television screen. “God, I love you, T… you look amazing.”

She’s ready to hit the pause button on the video to take full advantage of both of their arousal, when Derek’s voice loudly breaks the moment, “That’s when you started BEEPing on ice.” That broke the moment for Sober Tessa, and on screen Drunk Tessa’s head nearly spun around like something out of the Exorcist, and she quickly scrambled to remove herself from Scott at Derek’s statement. “I mean… sex is great and all, but have you ever watched Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir skate? I can now add 'watch them dry hump on a couch' to that statement.”

They are staring at him dumbfounded, and they both burst out laughing. “Did you read the tweets?!” Tessa screeches as she is slapping Scott’s shoulder, “Scott impregnated all of Canada.”

Drunk Scott makes a very serious face, “I have very potent sperm.” The camera captures all three of them cackling, snorting, and laughing so hard they can’t breathe. 

Drunk Tessa falls off the couch and is clinging to Scott’s leg. “That’s why I make him double bag.” She’s laughing so hard, that it is impossible to tell if she is still breathing as no sounds are leaving her open mouth and her face becomes increasingly darker and redder. This joke elicits a raucous round of laughter from both men, as Scott looks at her with shock and amusement.

“T… you just said ‘double bag.’” Drunk Scott is falling over her in laughter, “How do you even know what that means?!” She is sitting up straight as if she was suddenly sobered by her unexpected and hilarious quip. Rolling her eyes and snapping her fingers, “I got the Urban Dictionary app. I know what EVERYTHING means.”

With that mental picture in the audience’s head, the episode reverts back to the previous episode’s components with no additional images or scenes… that is until the very last shot of the episode. In the original episode, James yells, “Wait… we don’t even get to find out if they’re really together?!” as Adam winks at the camera. However, in the Director’s Cut, the screen cuts to Tessa and Scott hungrily kissing one another. He easily lifts her so that she is wrapping her legs around Scott’s waist as he carries her down a darkened hallway to her bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Their mics are still live, and you can hear Tessa’s giggles and Scott moan. Derek is shown awkwardly standing in the living room before he begins to walk out to leave, “BEEP… I guess I’ll just show myself out guys… Congratulations!” 

 

“Well… that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.” Scott offers first. His eyebrows are lifted in hopefulness as he waits for Tessa’s reaction. He is gripping both of her hands, and he would be lying if he wasn’t slightly worried she would kick him out of her apartment as soon as her shock and humiliation subside. His mind is also reeling from Derek’s parting words - congratulations? “I mean other than the whole double bagging thing…” He is trying not to chuckle as he still can’t believe that comment was recorded. No one ever believes him when he says that Tessa is the funny one.

Her eyes are flashing at him, but it is a mixture of anger and amusement, a look he receives often. “Yeah, that’s the part I’m really worried about…” She pulls her hands back from him, and reaches over to the coffee table to retrieve the other DVD. “Not the fact that there is unedited footage of us apparently having sex while we were still wearing live mics!” Her chest is rising rapidly, and the past couple of hours of nonstop stress have finally broken her mental shield.

Scott is standing in front of her, wrapping her into his arms. “This is my fault. I am so sorry… I just thought this would be fun, and not so serious and awkward as all the other interviews.” He was earnestly looking into her eyes, “The good news? The first video is the video that will be shown. It is ambiguous enough that we can still maintain the denials and what we always say.” Scott can feel the front of his shirt grow damp from her tears, and the gentle bobbing of her body as she continues to fight her inner turmoil while still in his arms. After twenty-one years of experience, he knows silence, hugs, and back rubs are the only things required of him until she sorts the emotional roller coaster.

Finally, her head turns to rest a cheek on his chest. Her right hand moves to rest over his heart as she pushes back from him. Her face is set in the same aggressive determination that has preceded Olympic performances and endorsement deals. Scott isn’t really sure what is about to happen, but he pities the person on the other end of this Tessa… even if that person is himself.

Lips pursed together, hands balled into fists, Tessa is walking away. A moment of panic fills him, as he starts to brace himself for Tessa pulling the plug on their relationship and telling him this is too much to forgive. She is refusing to meet his gaze as he visually stalks her movements across the living room. His hands can’t stop fidgeting, and he thinks he might break his fingers as they twist in his tightened grip. He audibly winces while he watches her turn her back away from him as she is dialing a number on her phone.

Waiting for the other person to answer her call, she finally makes eye contact with Scott. Her eyes are emerald in her absolute certainty with the decision she has made. “Derek… go with the Director’s Cut.” Never breaking eye contact with Scott, she immediately disconnects the phone call, and throws her phone to the couch. Walking towards him she kisses him with liberated fierceness, “Fuck it. I’m all in.” 

With those words, Tessa finally heard and understood what Scott had always said was his favorite sound… he was laughing and crying at the same time as he scooped her up in a ferocious embrace. She only hoped she didn’t have to wait two decades to hear it again.


	9. Unveiling the Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott host a viewing party for their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone enjoying the story... looks like we have another chapter or two.
> 
> If you weren't familiar with this show, Drunk History is hilarious. You can find clips online (my personal favorite is Hamilton with Lin Manuel Miranda) and there are so many good ones.

That was a phone call he never expected to happen. A brief moment of shock kept Derek paused in mid-stride as he was walking into his house. Looking down at his now silent cell phone, he began pumping his fist in the air while jumping. Pulling himself together, he needed to make a few phone calls.

 

“Tess… you have to be 1000% sure. We can’t take this back, and we can’t ever make this go away. Is this really how you want to tell everyone?” The shock and euphoria of Tessa’s declaration was starting to wear off, and Scott was worried that she would later regret this decision. “What about sponsors and your business deals? We could jeopardize everything you’ve worked for…” 

She may literally take years to ultimately make a decision; however, that just means she is committed completely to whatever course of action she eventually chooses. This was her choice, and Scott’s adorable uncertainty did nothing to dampen the overwhelming freedom she felt in finally, definitively, conclusively, publicly admitting her relationship with him. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, she sighed “I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m as certain as I was when we decided on the comeback. Happy?” 

Heartwarming, joyous laughter rumbled through Scott’s chest. “Happy? There aren’t words to describe what I’m feeling… but I know ‘happy’ is like the mildest form of it.” A huge grin was spreading to his eyes, “So yeah, happy.” He was dotting her face and hair with delicate kisses before he stopped to look at her with a face of concern, “So… what about our parents?”

She looked back at him with confusion, “What about them? Ohhhh…” She was realizing that the Director’s Cut video would not just be seen by the public, but by their parents. She giggled mischievously, “I guess they are going to find out what ‘double bagging’ means too.” She laughed harder at Scott’s exaggerated gagging face and embarrassment about something so scandalously sexual and his parents. “I mean… they already know about..." Her hands gestured between them, "so it won’t be a big deal. I think they’ll be happy to have it all finally out in the open.” 

“Wait... What do you mean they already know? Oh my god… you told your mom?!” Scott’s bewildered expression transformed to disbelief, and maybe a smidge of anger.

“Wait…you didn’t?!” Tessa’s mouth was wide open in astonishment. How could he have not told his parents they were together?! 

“You said we weren’t telling PEOPLE!” His voice reminded her of his pre-pubescent days, squeaky and higher in pitch than she had heard in decades. His hands were thrown up in the air in exasperation, he reminded her of his least favorite meme of him at the women’s hockey game. Looking at his face, she knew he was playing multiple scenarios through his head.

Patting his shoulder, her eyebrows and mouth twisted into a sympathetic grimace. “Oh, babe… moms aren’t people.” She had to take pity on him… how did he not know that there was always a mom exception?! “Seriously, Scott… your mom knows, because my mom knows… Oh, babe… you need to call her…” she handed Scott his phone from the coffee table.

His lips were sucked in, and his eyes revealed his irritation with her. He breathed deeply in and out a few times before he said with a calm voice, “You know… I love you, but I’m not really happy with you right now.” 

“Oh… you’re not happy with ME right now?” Her voice did not share his calmness. (Scott realized he may have made a mistake.) “Awww… I’m so sorry.” (She did not sound sorry.) “Double bag and sex sounds, Scott… DOUBLE BAG and SEX sounds.” She lifted her eyebrows and matched his infamous outstretched arms in her own exaggerated outrage. (Yeah, he definitely made a mistake.) 

“That may have been a poor choice of words.” His bottom lip was protruding in an almost cartoonish way, as he appeared to be contemplating in an overly exaggerated fashion. He pointed the phone to her, “I’m going to make a phone call. I love you. I’ll be right back.” He started to walk towards the bedroom, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards her.

Shaking her head, “Where do you think you’re going? Make the call.” She was daring him to try and leave her to make this very uncomfortable phone call in private. Ugh… he was left with no alternative and no escape. Swallowing hard, he pushed his mother’s contact to make the call.

“Uh… mom? No… everything is great.” He is always a bundle of nervous energy, and rarely remains still for more than a few minutes at a time. This moment is no exception, and he is pacing back and forth in front of her. “Rehearsals for the tour are good, the show is going to be one of our best… Yeah, Tessa is here and she’s good… that’s why I wanted to call you… what? Ok, hold on.” He pulled the phone from his ear, and hit the speaker button. “Ok, you’re on speaker.” Scott looked at her and shrugged in confusion.

“Hi… Tessa, honey!” She matched Scott’s confusion… was Alma crying? Yup, those were sniffles. Tessa tried to keep her anxiety at bay as horrible, catastrophic thoughts began to flood her mind. What if there was bad news to tell them together? Accident? Death? Cancer? Divorce? It had to be something big to warrant this reaction. Bracing herself for the worst scenario, Tessa stood next to Scott. Her arms quickly wrapped around his waist as she was ready to support him through whatever news was about to hit him.

“Hi, Alma!” There was a pause with more sniffles from Scott’s mom. Tessa decided to break that ice, “Uh… Alma? Is everything okay?”

They could hear her trying to pull herself together. “Oh, of course dear. I’m just… well, Scott? What did you want to tell us?”

“Mom… Well, it was really something for both of us to tell you. We… we’re…” Alma gasped and a tiny cry escaped from the cell phone in Scott’s hand. They were both staring at the small rectangular device with concern. “Well, we are…” 

Alma was crying again, “Yes, Scottie? What is it?” 

Tessa’s eyes widened and willed Scott to tell his mom they were together, but he couldn’t do anything but stammer and stare at the screen of his phone filled with a picture of his mother smiling at the last Olympics. The guilt of his lies for the past two years were suddenly unbearable, and he felt so much shame for keeping this from his mother that he just couldn’t confess… Fuck. At this point, she could just watch the episode like everyone else. “Mom… Tess and I…”

“Alma, we are together. Like really together… we’re dating.” Tessa came to his rescue, and said the words he had wanted to shout to the world for years. Relief emanated across Scott’s face as he mouthed “thank you” to her, and squeezed her hand. 

The phone was silent for what seemed like several minutes as they stared and waited for her response. In reality, it was like 10 seconds before Alma Moir exploded across the cell phone with so much force his phone was vibrating in his hands. “Damnit, Scott! Are you fucking kidding me!” Scott could only remember his mother saying the F-word in front of him on two other occasions. This was worst than he thought. He looked accusingly at Tessa, and mouthed to her, “I thought you said she knew!”

Tessa was wide-eyed and bewildered at this unexpected reaction. All she could do was shrug at Scott, and listen for Alma to explain her response. 

“I can’t believe you.” Alma was sputtering into the phone, “After all this time!” Her breathing was ragged, and Scott was worried he may have just killed his mother. “I thought you were going to tell me you proposed or you were pregnant… not something I’ve known about for two years!” She was huffing into the phone, and Scott could picture his mother pacing the floor in a path of nervous energy that was identical to his from a few moments before.

Tessa looked up mortified, “Alma! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! We would never have told you news like that like THIS!” She looked up at Scott, expecting him to join in to start reconciling with his mother, but he was useless in his shocked stupor. “There was some confusion… I didn’t realize that Scott hadn’t told you, and I told him to call… this is my fault.” 

Alma was calming down, “You two kids will be the death of me!” Her laughter was a good sign that all was forgiven, and she appreciated that this must be an indication of progress for her son and his relationship. “I love both of you, and Scott?” 

“Yeah, Ma?”

“It's about damn time. I was beginning to think you’d never tell me. I love you.” Scott continued to talk to his mother for a few more minutes as they attempted to coordinate travel schedules for upcoming visits. Tessa watched Scott’s conversation with his mother, and as always, she was drawn into his softened voice and devotion to his mother. All at once, she realized that she was responsible for this moment of tension and discord between Scott and mother. If she hadn’t insisted on secrecy, Scott would not have had two years of this isolation from his mother. She had never felt more manipulative and selfish.

Ending the phone call with his mother, Scott closed his eyes and relished this feeling of liberation. The secret of their relationship had fluctuated between exhilarating, sexy, intimate, romantic, personal, guilty, draining, and doubtful. He would always respect Tessa’s wishes, and in many situations he defers to her judgement, but this was something he wanted to resolve months ago. 

Looking at his peaceful expression, Tessa tried to hold back her plethora of emotions. “Still not happy with me?” She was tentative and hesitant as she moved towards him across the room. Grateful to see his amused expression and outstretched arms, she leaped towards him.

He easily lifted her and began to carry her towards her bedroom, “I know how you can make it up to me.”

 

 

The promos for their episode of Drunk History hit the following week. After the phone call with Alma, they decided the best course of action was to do nothing, say nothing to the rest of their family and friends. However, they were hosting a “viewing” party for their friends in Montreal so that they could deal with all their commentary at once. They had a statement ready to go out the day after the show aired about their relationship, and Tessa had already picked the perfect picture to verify their relationship status on social media. They were still working on the wording of the post, but they were ready to move forward out of the shadows.

She had thrown up twice and couldn’t eat anything the day their episode would finally air. Her anxiety was at an all time high, and she would never admit to Scott that she was battling uncertainty. Scott was always a bundle of energy, but this week he had nearly driven her crazy and he couldn’t sleep at all last night (which meant Tessa didn’t sleep at all last night).

Their friends from tour and Gadbois were excited for the episode and the extra attention it brought to the sport. More importantly they were excited to see their friends in something so fun and light that was SO against their branding and image. This was going to be legendary and hilarious… no one was going to miss it. They were expecting a crowd of about 50 people to pop in throughout the night, and they suspected they would hear from many, many more.

Keeping the television on the channel of the episode throughout the evening, the room would erupt into cheers for each of the Tessa and Scott promos. Finally, it was 9:00 PM and the introduction for the show began with the Law and Order gong sound as a stamp (Director’s Cut!) was placed over the opening sequence. 

Derek introduced the episode, “I had the pleasure of drinking, laughing, and reminiscing with the two most highly decorated Olympic figure skaters in history, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. If you haven’t gotten sucked down the online rabbit hole of their partnership, you might after tonight. There were two versions of tonight’s episode, and these two badasses chose to give you the Director’s Cut instead of taking the more conservative episode… I guess you don’t win gold by playing it safe.”

Tessa and Scott decided not to sit next to one another while watching the episode. They wanted to be across the room from each other so that they could scan the faces of their closest friends as their secret was discovered. Tessa’s cheeks turned crimson as Derek’s introduction was incredibly sweeter than she could imagine, and the unified “Awwwww” of her audience. Scott was biting back a grin as his hands fidgeted. She could tell he was full of nervous energy, and sitting still was torture for him. She decided to screw the plan of staying separated until the end - she declares her love for him in the first two minutes! She motions for him to join her, and she scoots Kaetlyn to make room for Scott. The room mockingly erupts into “Awwwww” again as Scott kisses her on the cheek and holds her hand.

Everyone is laughing at Tessa’s off key singing, (The true reason she doesn’t participate in karaoke? She’s the ultimate perfectionist who would rather not do something at all if she can’t do it well.) and their grips tighten as she sings to Scott, ‘I love you.” The room is no longer laughing, well… Chiddy is trying to hold back a small chuckle. They nervously scan the faces of the room, and most of the eyes are shining. Crazy grins are on the faces of Meagan, Eric, Patch, and Marie-France. Kaetlyn wraps her arms around Scott in a swift hug before jumping from the couch to address the crowded living room, “I TOLD YOU!!!!” She burst into a maniacal laugh as she jumped across the room chanting, “I told you!” Someone had paused the show, and everyone was laughing or groaning as Scott and Tessa looked perplexed.

“Uh… Kaetlyn? What did you tell everyone?” Scott put his leg out to try and corral the jumping skater. Her giggles prevented her from answering, but she stopped bouncing across the room. 

“I told everyone that you’d FINALLY admit you’re together! No one thought you’d do it on television, but I knew it! You can barely contain it when you’re sober, there was no way you’d be able to hide it with alcohol involved!” She blew out a long satisfied breath, “Damn… I should’ve placed bets!”

Tessa had the decency to looked astonished. “Wait… all of you knew? How?!” She looked into the now hysterical faces of her friends.

Meagan: “How?! Ohhh… Tess, you’re so sweet and oblivious. You guys don’t exactly hide it.” 

Chiddy: “Did you forget that I’m his ROOMMATE?! I’ve seen things...” (complete with closed eyes and tiny head shakes)

Marie-France: “Your hands go places no choreographer tells you to go.”

Patch: “Awww… the eyes. They always give you away.”

Eric: “Do you know how many times I’ve watched Moir turn away easy lays? First thing he does, is get his phone and text you about it… he’s whipped.”

There was a cacophony of consensus in the room - they did not hide it as well as they thought they did. Scott cleared his throat and stood up, pulling her with him. “Well… welcome to our official debut as a formal couple.” He gently placed his hand behind Tessa’s head and pulled her in for a searing kiss. They both had tears as their first official public kiss was cheered by their friends. They knew there were cameras recording and snapping pictures, and for the first time they really didn’t mind if it was shared. 

They resumed the episode, and as expected their friends were shocked and amused at the various parts. They braced themselves for the embarrassing end, but Derek deleted the sounds of Tessa giggling and Scott’s telltale moan. Instead, Derek reappeared on screen just as he was in the introduction. “As you can see, I was the first to congratulate them. So tell your sisters and your wives, Scott Moir is officially off the market! Guys, good luck finding a woman half as perfect as Tessa Virtue!” He looked out into the camera as if he could actually see Scott and Tessa, “Ahem… Don’t forget to watch the unedited footage!” The screen cut to Adam’s cheeky wink, and then faded to the end credits.

Theme music was playing. High fives were given. Cheers and tears were spread throughout the room. Tessa and Scott were in the midst of all the revelry, but they looked at each other with realization. In their preparations for the episode they forgot one thing... the unedited video. What did Derek want them to see so badly?


	10. Unedited part 1: rated E for Everybody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first couple of hours of unedited footage was pretty tame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter - sorry! I'm getting bogged down with stuff, and won't be able to update for a little while. So I will just dribble droplets when I can. Sorry!

The theme music was still playing, people were still congratulating them, and it seemed that every phone in the room was exploding from notifications. The near constant, erratic chirping was overwhelming and so obnoxious most people were turning their phones off or on silent. They wouldn’t find out until tomorrow that they were trending on Twitter. They wouldn’t find out for a couple of days that it was the most watched episode of the show ever (and won it’s time slot). They would discover over the course of the next couple of weeks, the episode went viral, and it sparked massive speculation across social media (unedited footage?!). For now, they were secure in a media bubble and enjoying this moment with the people they see everyday.

Still wrapped in their embrace, Tessa realized she didn’t have to wait long to hear her new favorite sound again. Then again, she was making identical laughing and crying sounds back at Scott. They were finally out in the open, and she felt an amazing lightness deep within her now that she didn’t have to worry about hiding their relationship from the world. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, Scott kissed the top of her head. “Ready to make a phone call?”

They both retreated to Tessa’s bedroom to call Derek. He answered on the third ring, and it sounded like he was having a party as well. “Holy shit! My phone is blowing up! I can’t imagine what it is like on your end… how did you like the ending?” He was giddy with delight, and they could hear the many well wishes coming through the phone. “It is nuts here… everyone loves you two!” 

“We just wanted to say thank you for the sweet introduction and the generous editing… we always wondered how to reveal our relationship, and this was just fantastic.” Tessa was in media mode with her effusive praise to Derek. 

He responded with a dismissive snort and there was a pause on both ends. “You didn’t watch the unedited footage, did you?” His voice was a mixture of amused and disbelief. “I can’t believe you crazy ass Canadians haven’t watched the other DVD! What are you two waiting for?!” 

Scott jumped to their defense, “It’s over 7 hours long! We are kind of busy being professional athletes and all.” Derek grunted in reply, but Scott asked for assistance. “Why don’t you just tell us the part we should watch?”

Derek laughed heartily at this request, “Scott… beautiful Tessa… you’re both Olympic super heroes. You know you don’t achieve greatness through short cuts. Kick out all those assholes in your apartment - you don’t want witnesses. Get some carryout and sit back and watch the fucking DVD.” He was distracted by his own viewing party, “Listen, call me when you’ve seen it. You’re coming to New York!”

Well, kicking people out of the party was out of the question. However, they agreed they could watch an hour of footage each night… they’d finish in a week and know everything Derek had alluded to for the past few weeks. 

Tessa didn’t want to admit to Scott that she was scared of what was on the video. Part of her wanted to just destroy the DVD without watching it, and let that night be remembered only for the episode. However, her dominant side wanted to take copious notes while frequently pausing the video for analysis. Her deepest fear? They had sex on camera in front of Derek… scratch that. Deepest, darkest fear? He joined them. Tessa’s gag reflex kicked in at the thought.

Scott didn’t want to admit to Tessa that he knew exactly what happened that night, and he knew what they would both see when they sat down to watch the video. There were some hazy moments from the evening, but he knew exactly why Derek was so insistent on them watching the footage. He knew he had about 3 or 4 nights before she knew too. His deepest fear? She would make whatever face she’s making right now (is she about to puke?) and walk out the door… scratch that. Deepest, darkest fear? She walks out AND she’s pregnant AND he doesn’t find out for years (he’s read some fan-fiction and some of it scares the shit out of him).

 

 

The media surrounding their relationship reveal was extraordinary and driving ticket sales to astronomical prices. Cities around North America and Europe were begging to be added to the latest tour, and they were finding it impossible to refuse the generous offers. Whatever wariness they had about being open about the true nature of their relationship was still simmering underneath the surface, but they both hoped that their honesty would help quiet the fandom’s thirst for information over the next few months.

The following night was like any other night after a grueling day of training and rehearsals for the upcoming expanded tour. Following Derek’s advice, they decided to splurge on takeout from their favorite restaurant and settle in for some unedited footage. Twenty minutes into the footage, they comprehended why he needed 7 hours to make a 30 minute episode… they were boring as hell! It took nearly an hour before Tessa was singing, dancing, and professing her love for Scott. When they decided to call it a night, they had barely made it into the living room. 

Derek called the next day asking for a progress report, and was disappointed they were taking ‘SO FUCKING LONG! My balls will shrivel and I will be in the midst of menopause before you finish it. Argh!” They agreed to allow him to upload some of the unedited footage on the Drunk History website. All three had been inundated with questions about the mysterious unedited footage lurking out there in the unknown. Derek had suggested that they gradually reveal some of the funnier moments, such as Tessa and Scott’s karaoke duet and lip sync battle. “It’s cute… it’s relatable, very G rated, and it isn’t nearly as bad as some of the alternatives.” They conceded that he was right, and consented to small 1-2 minute clips. 

 

Hour Two was excruciatingly embarrassing for Tessa. She drank. She sang… so much singing. She attempted to dance. It was not pretty. She was eternally grateful Derek didn’t upload any of her solo work on the Drunk History website. She was a one-woman train wreck singing Disney and Broadway songs complete with sloppy choreography. Fortunately, Scott took most of the spotlight with his rambunctious rendition of “Gangsta’s Paradise” immediately followed with a hysterical version of “Amish Paradise.” Towards the end of the hour, she disappeared for about 15 minutes and returned in more comfortable clothing. Scott smacked her bottom as she walked in front of him to reclaim her position on the couch. She laughed and kissed his cheek while sprawling across him. “Getting comfy,” she yawned and closed her eyes, laying her head in his lap. Smiling down at Tessa, Scott ran his fingers through her hair as she sighed into sleep.

“How do you feel about hockey?” Scott asked Derek once he was sure she was asleep, and the last few minutes of the designated hour was just two dudes watching a hockey game. They chatted, they laughed, they bonded over their favorite players and sipped their beers. No wonder Derek kept trying to get Scott to a game… they genuinely got along.

Pausing the video after their hour timer elapsed, Tessa turned to Scott. Her eyes bright with discovery. “You sneaky little bastard!” Over twenty years together, Tessa had seen Scott Moir in various shades of drunkenness, and this… this barely registered as buzzed. She punched his arm with a little more force than she intended, “You weren’t drunk!”


	11. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking games are not for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't stop... there's still a few more ideas, and hopefully this isn't starting to drag on. Fingers crossed you're still enjoying it!
> 
> By the way... I haven't had time to respond to individual comments, but you are all amazing. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

“Ouch!” He laughed as he rubbed his bicep. “Not at this moment, but I will be soon. You’ll see tomorrow night.” He stood up from the couch, signaling her to come with him to the bedroom. 

Tessa remained stubbornly rooted in her position. “I demand another hour.” The crossed arms, the lifted chin, the defiant eyes, and the tone in her voice were all clear indications they would probably be late to practice tomorrow. 

“Ugh…” Scott flopped back on the couch, stretching his legs over her. “It has to be another thirty minutes of us watching hockey. Nothing remotely exciting happens until later.” 

Her resistance was impenetrable, even with Scott’s puppy dog eyes and bottom lip. “You know… you’re making me suspicious. Maybe Derek had the right idea for us to just watch it all at once. What are you trying to avoid?” Her eyebrow lifted and the corner of her lips twitched. “I can’t believe you’re not even buzzed… look at me! I’m drooling in your lap!” She gestured to the screen which literally showed her drooling on his leg.

Sighing in defeat, Scott jumped up again to head to the kitchen. “Babe, I’ve got to drink coffee or wine to get through anymore of this tonight. You pick.” His head dropped in defeat when she shouted back, “COFFEE… for me too!” Retreating to the kitchen, he took his time with the French press, hoping she would call out that she had changed her mind… no such luck.

Unfortunately, she had paused the video to wait for his coffee break. “Seriously, Tessa… my love.” He emphasized and over emoted the hell out of his eyebrows causing her to giggle. “Can we at least forward past you sleeping and us watching hockey?” 

She was joking earlier about being suspicious before, but now she really was curious. What didn’t he want her to see? “Awww… you know I love watching you watch hockey. Nope, we are watching all of this. Unless… Scott, I swear to all that is holy, if he takes off his shirt, I’m done.” 

Flaming hot coffee shot through Scott’s nose as he laughed at her worried expression. “I solemnly swear he does not take off his shirt.” He kisses her on the cheek, “Ugh… let’s get this over with.”

 

“I hate to admit it, but you were right. That’s thirty minutes of my life that I will never get back.” The only thing interesting about this portion of the video is Scott talking a little about Marina. No wonder he didn’t disclose much, he had only had a couple of beers at this point. The fans always tagged her in videos and pictures of “soft” Scott, but it was something entirely different to witness it like this. He was so tender" with every part of her, and he spent just as much time looking down at her face as he did watching the game. He treated her with gentle precision as he maneuvered her head out of his lap to get more drinks, and when he returned he chose a different seat to avoid disturbing her more than he had to. He spent more than twenty minutes caressing her feet and calves, just as right now he was rubbing her knuckles with his thumb… he couldn’t keep his hands off of her.

Somewhere around the three hour mark of footage, the trio decides to play Never Have I Ever with shots of whiskey (Scott), tequila (Tessa - “oh my god, no wonder I blacked out!), and vodka (Derek - "It was water").

Derek sets the rules, “I ask all the questions. If you have done it, you drink and share. If you haven’t done it, drink anyway! It makes for a better show.”  
Bottles and shot glasses are ready on the coffee table for each person. All three had moved to the floor to surround the coffee table. The first question, “Never have I ever bought a sex toy.” Tessa immediately turns a light shade of pink. Scott remains completely stoic with a barely noticeable twinge in his jaw before he takes a shot. Derek hoots in appreciation. “Holy shit! I totally thought that was going to be Tessa drinking on that one!” The crimson in her cheeks continues to deepen and spread when Derek puts it all together, “Ohhhhh! Scott… did you buy it for…” his voice tapers off, but his eyes are dancing with the implications.

“Ahem… I have purchased a vibrator for my girlfriend. That’s the end of that story.” His eyes were shooting daggers at Derek, and for the sake of their newfound friendship, Derek was letting it go. “He bought it for me. I’m the girlfriend!” Tessa blurted out with wide eyes, "I should drink shouldn't I?" Derek bit his lip to keep from laughing, and merely nodded his understanding as she took her shot. 

“Next question! Never have I ever, had sex with someone else in the room.” Almost as if it were choreographed and rehearsed, in perfect unison, both Tessa and Scott closed their eyes and pursed their lips. Both reached for their shot glasses, chinked them together and downed their respective shots. “You are full of surprises! Tell me more!” Derek propped his chin on his hand, and leaned forward across the table to stare at them with admiration. 

Scott turned his head to Tessa, it was her turn. “Well… hmmm… we usually have roommates on tour and during competitions. I mean we’re really quiet, and Chiddy is a deep sleeper.” (“No, no they’re not… no, no I’m not” - Chiddy)

“Never have I ever sent a nude photo.” Derek’s eyes were sparkling as they both hung their head and took their third shot in less than 10 minutes. Scott: “We were on tour and couldn’t find time to be together, and so we took turns sending pictures… believe me, no girl likes a dick pic.” Tessa: “Uh… some do,” she looks down Scott’s chest and towards his lap while licking her lips and sighing. “I sent him one when I changed into this an hour ago.” Scott nods his head with a boastful grin, “True story.”

“Never have I ever had sex in a public place.” Both took shots, and had to take a breather before sharing their stories. “Skating rinks all over the world… beach… lake…” Scott’s voice trails off as Tessa continues the list, “parking garage… airport… bathroom at that one restaurant… wait, was that with you?” She looks at him with a joking smile before giggling as he tickles her side.

“Never have I ever had a pregnancy scare.” They both look at each other, neither breathing as they wait to see the other’s response. Even Derek finds that he is holding his breath for this question. Finally, Scott lifts his glass to his lips and sputters as he swallows the shot. He never breaks eye contact with Tessa’s teary eyes. Her voice is barely a whisper as she asks, “Is it who and when I think?” Silently, he nods his head yes. “That explains a lot,” her voice croaks beyond her control and she’s blinking back tears. She looks like she wants to run from the room, but Derek quickly asks the next question - hoping in their quickly escalating inebriated state they won’t remember this setback.

“Never have I ever voted for Trump.” Derek laughs more than he should. “Sorry, I thought you perverts needed a break!” Scott threw a pillow at Derek and they were all laughing entirely too much at Scott’s horrible aim. 

“Never have I ever gotten caught by my parents.” They look at each other, a story on both of their lips, but uncertainty as they play with their glasses. “Technically… we didn’t get caught.” Tessa’s voice is definitely slurring over these words. “Technically,” Scott’s speech is slow and very methodical as he enunciates each sound of the words, “I hid until she left the room and she didn’t know I was there.” (“Of course I knew he was there. Her bedroom is directly above mine.” - Kate) As the judge, Derek compels them to raise their glasses, “DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!” 

Derek decides that the three of them should take a much needed water break in order for them to make it the long haul of the evening. Tessa leaves to go to the bathroom and Scott pours one last shot when he hears the doorknob click. “Never have I ever bought an engagement ring.” He salutes Derek with his glass and quickly drinks before Tessa reenters the room.


	12. Nothing to See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously revised chapter! They finally reach the end of the unedited footage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the first chapter that I posted. I responded to a few comments from chapter 12, and I realized that I went completely off rails and away from the original tone of the story. If you stuck around, or if you're willing to give this chapter a try, I appreciate it. 
> 
> I always intended for a "sex tape" type moment in the unedited footage... I think that was obvious from the first chapter, but instead of humor I went elsewhere. Which wasn't in keeping with this story. 
> 
> So once again, I apologize. I think this is a much better chapter for the story, and I appreciate the feedback that made me realize that I wasn't expressing my ideas in a clear manner or in a way that was authentic to what I originally started to say with this story.

It wasn’t humanly possible for Tessa’s mouth to have dropped any faster or more than it did when she heard Scott’s confession. She scrambled to pause the DVD, “Whoa… did you?” Her eyes were as wide as her mouth, as she scanned his face for an explanation.

“Why don’t we save all questions until the end?” He raised her hand to his lips for a small kiss, and he smiled at her nervously. This was not how he wanted her to find out, but he knew it was inevitable. Their relationship may have only gone public a few days ago, but their relationship was ready for this next step. Hell, he had been ready for this next step for over two years. He pulled the remote from her hands, and the video resumed.

Play. 

“I’m assuming it is for the lovely lady in the bathroom.” Derek nodded back towards the hallway, and Scott sighed with a nod of his head. “I’m also assuming she doesn’t know.”

Scott surprised him with a scrunched up face and a shrug. “Maybe? I mean I haven’t asked yet. I’m torn… go big or go home, eh? But that just isn’t me, but maybe something big is her… like one of those viral video proposals?” He looked at him with the expectant hopefulness of a man on the verge of making the biggest commitment of his life. “What would you do?” 

Uh… he met this guy like a few hours ago and he is asking him about proposing? What the hell?! Derek cleared his throat, “Fuck, dude… I’m the last person you’d want to ask about relationships, and especially proposing.” Scott was staring ahead, the shots of liquor were starting to catch up to him. “When did you buy the ring?”

Scott ruefully chuckled into his glass of water. Looking down into the ice cubes, “Two years ago. The day before we announced our comeback… I was optimistic.” They both burst out laughing, and Scott continued once he was breathing again, “Jordan helped me pick it out, and that girl can NOT keep a secret.”

Pause.

“Two years! Jordan helped you pick it out?!” Tessa’s voice was about two octaves higher than normal. Her mind was working overtime as she was trying to figure out how her sister kept such a secret for so long. Scott was right - she was never able to keep a secret. “Did you forget we had to tell her we broke up because she kept blabbing to her co-worker? Remember… the one with the uncannily accurate tumblr?”

Rubbing his face with both hands, Scott sighed, “This is why we should wait until the end for all questions.” The look on her face let him know that he was going to have to address this one a little sooner, “I sent her some pictures of rings, and she basically voted them up or down to give me an idea.” He rubbed her knuckles with his thumb, and tilted his head as he looked at her, “She wasn’t with me, and she definitely doesn’t know that I bought one.”

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Tessa mouths, “Okay.”

Play.

Derek lifted an eyebrow, “She’s been quiet about you two. Maybe this is the secret she keeps?”

Scott shrugged, there really wasn’t a response or any additional information he could give when his head was swimming in whiskey. Besides, Tessa would be walking back into the room any minute. 

You hear the singing before she enters the room. She is holding her phone above her head as it is blasting Hall and Oates. Dancing into the room, Derek assumes this has to be a well rehearsed number for these two. “How are you so coordinated after that much tequila?” He yells over the chorus Tessa is screaming, “You make my dreams come true!” Scott is dancing and singing back to her. 

Pause.

“You know… this would make a great number. You have to admit, Hall and Oates looks good on screen.” 

Scott placed his finger over her lips. “I admit nothing. Veto for eternity.”

Play.

The shots of liquor were definitely catching up to both of them. The dancing became more of stumbling, and the laughter became more uncontrollable. Until eventually, they were just swaying with the music. Their bodies pressed together so closely, Tessa was blushing watching them… which is absurd, because they have had far more risqué moves on the ice. However, this video of them holding each other barely moving to the music seemed so much more intimate. Derek cleared his throat and said in his best church lady voice, “Leave some room for Jesus.” 

Laughing they both fell to the couch, and Tessa sprawled out yawning. Scott clambered over her so that he could spoon around her body. Derek lifted his eyebrows, “That isn’t exactly better.”

Scott was matching Tessa’s yawns, “Maybe we should just take a little nap. We’ll be ready to talk some more in a little while.” Derek shrugged and looked at his phone. According to Yelp, there was a semi-decent Chinese restaurant a couple of blocks away. He could leave the two to sleep and be back in time to get some more footage.

Pause.

“This is actually sweet.” She motioned to the screen of the two of them. This was obviously the footage he used in the episode of the two of them sleeping together on the couch. “You know we are pretty cute.”

Play.

About thirty minutes of the two of them sleeping before Derek returned with enough food to help give them all a second wind. The next hour or two revolved around them talking and laughing like old friends. Tessa’s opinion of Derek was thawing, he was actually a pretty decent guy. It was apparent that he wasn’t drunk at all, and he was taking care of them. Making sure they were drinking water, and when she saw that he even made sure they were using her coasters… she was ready to declare him her new best friend.

Tessa had changed her outfit… again. There are several familiar moments from the actual episode from this segment - she is super talkative and very animated. Then Derek asks them the question they always get, “What’s next?”

Drunk Scott and Tessa are back on the couch at this point. Tessa is curled into his side, resting her head on his chest with an arm wrapped across his stomach. Scott’s left hand is rubbing circles on her back, and he answers first, “Personally or professionally?”

“Professionally… we retire. We skate as many tours as we can, while we can. Tessa makes as many partnerships as she can, and she launches her empire. Eventually, I start coaching.” Tessa nodded in agreement as she continued to rest on his chest.

“Personally? Hopefully, she doesn’t wake up one day and realizes I’m the world’s biggest dork or most obnoxious man she’s ever met. Hopefully, she doesn’t figure out that she can do better. Hopefully, I’m worthy to spend the rest of my life by her side, and she’ll say, “Yes.”

Pause.

Tessa moved from Scott’s side, and her back was so straight she looked like she was ready to launch across the ice. She tuned to look at him and said her next words slowly, “Did you finally propose to me while I was drunk and couldn’t remember?” 

He cocked his head at her, and one corner of his mouth turned up. “No.”

Play.

“Yes!” Drunk Tessa was smiling and caressing Scott’s face. “Yes… a thousand times YES.”

Pause.

“You were saying?” Her arms were crossed, and she does not look happy.

Stretching his hands in front of him, Scott admitted, “Ok… that looks bad.”

Play.

Derek interjected, “Wait… he didn’t actually ask anything yet.” He held up his left hand and was wiggling his ring finger. He exaggerated his mouth so it was clear to read his lips, “GO GET THE RING.”

Pause.

“I can’t believe this! I’m going to watch my proposal like it happened to a stranger in a tv show!” She was pacing in front of him.

“Let’s just finish this, and then we can talk… please.” Scott tried to pull her back to the couch, but she put her hands on her hips and stayed just out of arm’s reach.

Play.

 

Scott kisses the top of Tessa’s head, “She would kill me if I proposed to her right now and she couldn’t remember it.” Tessa was happily humming into his chest, “I haven’t waited two years to propose to her like this.”

Derek nods his head in understanding, “Have you figured that part out?” 

Scott chuckled, “No… but right now, I’m going to call it a night or a morning.” He nodded towards the sunlight starting to appear through the drapes.

Pause.

This time it was Scott jumping and laughing, “Ha! In your face!” She smiled as she let him grab her in his arms. She relaxed against his chest, and let him twirl her back to the couch.

Play. 

Derek stood up to shake Scott’s hand. “You know… I’m an internet ordained minister. I can marry you guys right now.” He wiggled his fingers in front of them as if he was performing magic, “Hey, Tess? Do you want to marry Scott?”

Propping her chin on Scott’s chest, her eyes were clearly unfocused from the alcohol, but full of love, “I do.” She kissed his lips, and Derek laughed, “I’m not to that part yet! Scott, what about you?” 

Scott kissed Tessa, “Of course, I do. Mr. and Mrs. Virtue-Moir sounds like us.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he lifted her up marriage style as Derek hummed the wedding march. Derek grabbed a bowl of popcorn from earlier, and began to throw kernels in the air over them. “By the power of Grey Skull, I pronounce you He-Man and She-ra.” 

Tessa moved in Scott’s arms, and this was the last scene of the episode. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and they were kissing as they moved back towards her bedroom. Derek was left awkwardly alone in the living room. The mics were picking up all of the bedroom shenanigans that was going down behind closed doors, until Derek turned the set off in the living room and began cleaning the very large mess that was left behind. 

Stop.

Silence.

“So… that’s not legal is it?” Tessa was the first to speak, and her voice had a hint of fear to add an edge to the infuriated tone. “Scott? You better tell me that is not fucking legal, and that we did not actually get married before we get engaged.”

“Nah… nope… nooooo.” Scott was shaking his head, but there was definitely uncertainty in his eyes. “It can’t be legal… I mean, maybe in America that shit works… but we’re Canadian. He has no powers here.” He looked at her for affirmation.

“Get the phone.” They both scrambled for their cell phones to see who would make the call first.

 

 

Derek was more surprised than anyone with the success of the Tessa and Scott episode. The episode had millions of youtube views, and they were thinking of similar history episodes with living participants… next up? President Obama! On a more concerning note, he had to stop checking his email because of all the fucking fan mail he was getting from ice dancing fans thanking him for getting them to admit their relationship status… it made him unusually aware of their plight, and the dilemma they lived with for so many years. He understood why they hid, and he hoped they didn’t regret the consequences of choosing the Director’s Cut.

 

 

When he saw Scott’s crazy-eyed selfie appear on his screen, he was relieved to finally hear from them. “Dude, it is about fucking time! You know the season will be over before you can make it to New York. When are you guys coming to celebrate the engagement with me?”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and then he heard Tessa clearing her throat. He looked back at the contact information on the front of his phone… yup, that was Scott’s number. “Uh… Derek, we have a couple of questions.” She was trying to remain calm, and not let her inner panic show.

“Really, it’s just one question,” Scott was on the line, and sounded a little more in control than Tessa, until his voice cracked on his actual question. “Was that legit? Like did you actually marry us?”

Tessa and Scott were holding hands facing each other, but each had their eyes closed tightly as if they were preparing to blow out the candles on a birthday cake. Both had variations of the same mantra running through their heads, “Please don’t say yes” or “Please don’t be married.”

Derek’s laughter reverberated across the phone. “Fuck, no! I’m not even legal here in New York, much less across the border.” His laughter started to calm down, “For future reference, you need a license and someone legit for the ceremony, but I’m more than happy to step up in an emergency situation.”

They thanked Derek for the footage, and they were finally able to end the phone call after promising him an invite to the actual wedding. They also had to agree that he was the “back-up” officiant at the wedding, and Scott may have agreed to him giving the best man’s speech before they finally were off the phone with him.

“Whew… that was close!” Tessa wiped her brow in cheerful exaggeration. Smiling at Scott, “I mean, marriage is something for ONE day…” Her smile started to slip as she looked at Scott’s pensive expression.

“One day…” he said quietly, and he looked at her with hurt etched across his eyes. 

She reached out to touch his cheek, and gave him a reassuring smile, “Yeah, one day… just not THAT day, not like THAT… Babe, I want to commit every second, every moment to memory. I want to have our friends and our families there to celebrate and witness our vows, not some sketchy guy we knew for a couple of hours proclaiming us 80s cartoons… and am I the only one who realizes they were brother and sister?!”

Laughing, Scott made one of his famous faces full of expressive eyebrows and lips. “Yeah, I noticed that too.” Kissing her quickly, they settled back into the couch. “How long do you think it would take you to plan a wedding?” He kissed the furrowed eyebrows that served as her response, “I’m assuming it will take longer than a couple of seconds like we saw in the video.” 

“Geez… Scott, I don’t know. I know some brides who take a year or more to plan everything. It would depend on what you want too, you know.” She could feel her face start to heat from the flush that was creeping up her body. The assumption of forever and marriage was always there, but this was the most they had ever discussed any of this and it made her giggle. “You know, we spent over a decade in couples therapy and counselors, but being drunk on tv has us talking more about our future than any of that.” 

“Do you think we can demand a refund?” Scott laughed with her, “So…has your memory recovered since the other night?” 

Tessa rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Yeah, my memory is fine now that I broke up with Jose Cuervo… I never want to drink tequila again.” She closed her eyes and shuddered.

“That’s good to know.” Scott kissed her temple, and began planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who read the first version of chapter 12, my goal was to get them to finish watching the video separately. I always planned for Derek to "marry" them on video in addition to their sexcapade for the unedited footage... In my original idea for chapter 13, I needed Scott to get to Ilderton for the proposal and he left to give Tessa some space. She was beating herself up about the tape and her response to it. Jordan came to the rescue to give her a pretty sanctimonious speech about accepting her sexuality, not slut-shaming herself, and being in the moment with Scott.
> 
> In hindsight, it wasn't THIS story... but maybe one I will tell later in a different setting. Once again, thank you for reading and commenting.


	13. The proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That ring is burning a whole in Scott's pocket and Tessa's memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must have watched one too many Hallmark movies lately, because I am a bowl of mush. I realized that 3 of my 4 stories have a proposal in them. My favorite is still my first story, and how Scott proposes to Tessa everyday for months... I could see that happening (why am I so invested in speculating other about people's lives?). I guess Freud could have a field day with my unconscious!
> 
> Thank you to anyone who has stuck around to read or comment on this little story! I had to take a long walk away from this one, but this is as close to my original plan as I could make it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Weeks after their relationship status was finally confirmed, they were surprised at how quickly the hubbub died down. People still wanted to see pictures of them together doing fun couple things, but there wasn’t this need to overanalyze or dissect all of their words and actions. It was almost normal, and they could finally relax and enjoy one another without worrying of being exposed.

However, the unedited footage loomed over Tessa and she found that she was the one overanalyzing and dissecting all of Scott’s words and actions. Was TODAY the day? Was THIS moment THE moment?

Like a couple of weeks ago… Scott asked her to go to a Leafs game with her. She didn’t think anything of it at first, but then she started noticing things. During practice, he kept going off the ice to whisper into his phone (was he making plans with someone at the arena?), and he said she should just meet him there, but he would take her home (was he setting something up?). The kicker was when she saw him at the game… he was NOT wearing his Leafs jersey, in fact, he wasn’t wearing ANY team memorabilia. He looked like he was coming out of a business meeting with his fancy shirt and slacks. This HAD to be the night. Nope… they didn’t even make it onto the Kiss Cam.

She was so preoccupied with the possible proposal, she had no clue about the score or what was happening. Scott kept nudging her or making physical contact, she could tell by his eyes that he knew something was distracting her. She finally admitted during the car ride home that she thought he was going to propose at the game. He chuckled, “Ahhh… Tessa, love.” He brought her hand to his lips and then to his heart. “I’m not going to display OUR moment on a jumbotron for the entire world.” He tugged her hand, and locked eyes with her for a moment. “So I’m going to need my hockey buddy to get her head in the game for the rest of the season, eh?” 

Then there was last week… Scott insisted on taking her to their favorite restaurant. He spent several minutes talking to the waiter away from the table. She knew from the first time he glanced over at her and quickly looked away. Tonight was the night. She excused herself to the ladies’ room, and she spent ten minutes touching up her makeup and making sure her hair would look great in the pictures that would memorialize her proposal. She could barely focus on Scott’s conversation, and kept looking over her shoulder, waiting. 

“T? Is everything okay?” Scott was looking at her with concern over the top of his wine glass, and he reached out to grasp her hand… this was it. “Seriously, did you hit your head in the bathroom or something? You’re being weird.” His eyebrows were doing the thing she loved, and she finally released the breath it felt she had been holding all night.

“I’m sorry.” She covered her face in embarrassment. “Gah… I thought you were proposing.” She squished her features up in more embarrassment, and could feel the heat in her cheeks as Scott chuckled at her declaration.

He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Ahhh… my beautiful Tess.” He scrunched his nose in distaste. “I promise I will never propose in a restaurant.” He leaned forward, and dropped his voice. “So I’m going to need you to relax, and not freak out every time we eat, eh?”

Oh, and then there was yesterday… he said he had to get to the rink “early.” Whatever! They had arrived at the rink TOGETHER for nearly two years, and suddenly he needed to get there early without her?! This was it, and it made total sense! Of course, he would propose at the rink - the home of their comeback and romantic relationship. She took her time getting ready that morning, making sure to give him plenty of time to coordinate and set up whatever surprises he had in store for her. She even put on makeup for practice, and she wore a new Adidas workout outfit she had been saving. 

Halfway through practice, she missed another step sequence and she could tell Scott was concerned. He was rubbing her shoulders more than usual, and he was even more insistent with the hand holds in an attempt to ground her. Their Moulin Rouge music began to play over the loudspeaker, and it seemed all the other skaters cleared the ice at the same moment… this was it. She turned to Scott, her eyes brilliant and full of love. His smile overflowed with adoration, and then he started singing the lyrics as they poured all of their love for one another into their private performance. Clutching her at the end, Scott whispered “You complete me.”

She waited for more, but he was just breathing hard into her neck. She pushed back from him to see his face, and her expression clearly indicated that she was waiting for more. He looked confused, but then she could tell he was holding back laughing.

“Oh, T…” His eyebrows were doing that thing again, and right now she just wanted to slap them off his face. “Babe… my love.” He was holding her hands and staring into her eyes. “I wouldn’t propose to you with just Jerry Maguire.” The accompanying incredulous funny face was exactly what she needed to laugh along with him. “Come on… give me more credit than that!”

Holding her hand as they exited the ice, he casually dropped another hint. “Moulin Rouge is iconic, but it’s too cliche, and you Tessa Jane Virtue deserve more.” He kissed her temple and helped her off the ice. “So I’m going to need my skating partner not to tense up every time she hears the song that’s kinda the showstopper for the next gazillion tours we’re doing, eh?”

“But what about coming to the rink early today?” She knew she should’ve dropped it, but why was he being all sketchy today unless he was planning a proposal? Nope… he was just signing his coaching contract and discussing tour requirements with Patrice. The man was insufferable. 

 

Then there was today… Well, today really wasn’t anything too extraordinary. He left for a quick trip to Ilderton for a few days to see his folks before leaving for tour. That was totally normal, and the way he left her was totally normal because he always stayed with his parents for a few days before they left for tour. Only this time, she felt his absence and she really wished he would have invited her back home with him. She knew it was unreasonable, but she thought of Alma and Joe as much as she thought of her own mom and she was family, damnit. 

“Why didn’t he want me to go? Did he change his mind about proposing? Does he even still have the ring?! Because I’ve looked!” Tessa was pacing in front of her sister, and her arms were flailing like someone in the midst of a psychotic episode. “And it ain’t here!” Jordan didn’t even have the decency to look concerned or alarmed… she looked amused (she never really liked her sister very much anyway).

“Tess, why don’t you sit down?” Jordan patted the cushion next to her in a condescending manner, and Tessa was having none of it. Breathing in deeply, Jordan was losing her patience with her sister. “You need to calm down.” Her tone had more force to it, but Tessa was quickly spiraling out of control. Watching her continue to pace in front of her, Jordan finally threw her arms in the air. “Why don’t YOU go propose?!” Well, that seemed to do the trick.

“What did you just say?” What did her sister just suggest? “Did you just suggest that I go ask Scott to marry me?”

“Uh… yeah?” Jordan wasn’t really serious… was she?

 

 

Sitting in first class on the next available Air Canada flight to London, Jordan was shook. She had seen the celebrity star status Tessa was able to garner while traveling for the Olympics, but today the airline and airport security bent over backwards (and probably violated a dozen air safety regulations in the process) getting them on this flight. She whispered to her sister, “Tessa… it took me longer to get an Uber to the airport than it took you getting us on this flight. Forget the medals and the deals, I’ve never been more proud to be your sister.”

Laughing away her nervousness, Tessa grinned at her sister. “Did you call mom to let her know we’re on the way?” 

Nodding, “Of course, she said she would meet us at the airport.” Jordan kept to herself the other phone calls she made, and the phone calls she knew her mother would make.

“I can’t believe you never spilled about the ring.” Tessa was finally able to relax enough to remember to be perturbed at her sister. “You had two years to prepare me, traitor! Give me a hint….”

“Honestly, I don’t even know which ring he picked. He would send me pictures every now and then, asking me for a thumbs up or down. I wish I could tell you more, but most of my communication with Scott consists of emojis and gifs.” Jordan shrugged her shoulders at her useless information. “That’s probably why I was so good at keeping the secret. I didn’t know if he ever actually bought a ring. I will say… he has great taste. You should ask him to collaborate with your jewelry line. Seriously!” She shrieked at Tessa’s dubious expression.

“He knew he couldn’t tell you too much because you’re the worst secret keeper in the world. We had to announce our comeback early because of you!” Tessa was laughing at her sister, and she was already thinking of pitching a jewelry collaboration after the tour.

“Hey! I kept the fact that you were together secret! Except for my friend at work…” Tessa’s head snapped at her, “But I swear I stopped telling her stuff before I even found out about that Tumblr account.”

“I knew it! I told Scott we had a mole, and he said it was you!” She dug her elbow into her sister’s side until she heard her yelp. “We shunned Gabby for like an entire year…” 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know how to tell you I was the reason that blog was so uncannily accurate. I knew you’d banish me to the kids’ table or something.” 

Arriving at the London airport, Tessa was detained by eager fans and so many pictures. Even on a day like today, when she’s on her way to surprise her would-be fiancé and to ask him to marry her, she stops for every picture. Jordan is impatiently tapping her foot as the elderly grandmother won’t stop gushing about Moulin Rouge. She mouths behind the woman’s back, “Let’s go!” But Tessa ignores her as she focuses all of her attention on the lady. This is why her sister is a beloved Canadian sweetheart.

Their mother was waiting for them at the airport as promised, and she hugged both of her girls. “Tessa, your sister told me about the unedited video.” She glared at her sister over her mother’s shoulder and whispered, “Banished!” as her mother tired to mollify her. “Honey, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. When I was your age, I…” Both sisters immediately began screaming, “Mom!” 

Clearing her throat, Tessa squeezed her mom’s shoulder. “Mom… I never want to speak of this again. Now, can we please get to Ilderton?”

 

 

Tessa was surprised at the number of vehicles in front of Alma and Joe’s house. Stepping towards the door, she felt like an outsider for the first time in her life at the Moir home, and she wasn’t sure what she was about to interrupt. She hesitated for a moment before knocking, and she wasn’t sure what family event she was walking into.

Scott answered the door almost immediately, as if he was waiting for her. She would’ve looked over her shoulder to question her sister, but he looked so happy to see her as he lifted her off the ground in a hug she forgot the one question she wanted to ask before she arrived. He motioned for her mom and sister to follow him into the house, and they were greeted like the beloved extended family they were. Hugs, kisses, laughter, and a few tears were shared by everyone as the Virtue women easily blended into the Moir clan.

After dinner conversation was much more subdued, and various distant relatives began making their exits. As the evening wore on, it seemed only the most immediate and closest family members were left and that meant it was time for game night. After a disastrous round of Uno with his niece and nephew, Scott pulled Tessa with him to the kitchen. He gave her a quick kiss before he began to fill one of his dad’s thermos with his mom’s famous hot chocolate. Holding out his hand, his face had the heartbreaking smile that made her fall for him decades ago. “Come on, let’s head over to the rink before they realize we’re not still playing at the kiddie table.” 

Walking to the familiar rink where they first met over twenty years ago, Tessa’s mind was racing and her hands were fidgeting. This was the PERFECT spot for her to propose to Scott. Should she do it before they get to the rink? Once they were inside… or maybe she should get him to skate with her first? There were too many possibilities that were battling inside her brain that she started to feel physically ill (how do guys do this?!). Watching Scott unlock the doors, she was hit with another sickening thought - does she give him a ring?! What the hell is she supposed to do? This is why girls don’t propose.

She was a frazzled shell of a woman, but Scott was calm and oblivious to her turmoil. He navigated the darkened rink with not even a stumble, before there was a soft glow from only partial lighting. He came towards her with a mischievous grin. “I was going to surprise you with this for Halloween, but what the hell.” He gave her a gift bag, and motioned for her to head to the locker room to put on the mystery gift. “Don’t peek! I don’t want you to hit me.” He was laughing after her, and he was heading to the booth to put some music on the loudspeakers.

Taking a deep breath, Tessa momentarily forgot about her proposal dilemma and wandered back to the girls’ locker rooms. Opening the door, she suddenly realized that she was an idiot. THIS was the moment, and she nearly missed it because she was too caught up in her head (story of her life).

The entire mirror was covered in post-it notes of quotes from her favorite romantic movies and books. They were all in Scott’s horrible chicken scratch handwriting, and she wanted to read all of them, but she also wanted to run out into the rink and scream “Yes!” before he had the chance to actually ask the question.

Her eyes scanned the quotes until she couldn’t read through her tears. The gift bag in her hand was suddenly very heavy, and she ripped through the tissue paper to see the Halloween surprise. Laughing, she pulled an adult-size recreation of her first competition dress from the bag. 

“Giddy” was the best description Tessa could use to describe her current mental and emotional state. She was fully decked out in her costume, complete with a white satiny scrunchy to hold her hair back. Looking at her reflection, all she was missing were the hideous bangs. Time to find her eternal partner.

Scott was at center ice, he was also wearing an adult-size version of his first competition outfit. The calm facade was eroded, and she could see the nervousness in ever facet of his being. He always said his favorite sound in the world was when she simultaneously laughed and cried, and now she could unequivocally state “ditto.” He was laughing and crying as she skated out to join him on the ice, and it was the most precious thing she had ever heard. 

“Marry me.” The words were a statement and question together, and he could barely wait until she stopped in front of him to voice them out loud. “I can spend the next thirty years reciting every line on those notes. I can cobble together some words of love, but it wouldn’t do justice to you.” Holding both of her hands together in one of his, the other stroked her cheek. “Marry me.”

Nodding her head, Tessa wrapped her arms around Scott as he lifted her in a spin across the ice. “I’d marry you right now if I could.”

Scott slowed their spin, and looked at her. “That could happen.” He gestured between them, “I mean we are dressed for it.” He ignored her look of horror, and nodded back towards the door. “And all of our family is already here.” He knew she thought he was joking, but he was really liking this idea. “Too bad we’re missing Derek to officiate for us.” He slapped his thigh in exaggerated frustration. “Darn… I guess you’ll just have to plan your perfect wedding.”

“Correction, OUR perfect wedding.” She kissed his lips. “Partners don’t plan without each other.”

Gently releasing Tessa, he dropped to one knee in front of her. He pulled a box from his pocket, and took a deep breath before he opened it for her approval. The platinum setting was sleek and elegant with a breathtaking emerald cut diamond in the center. Jordan was right - he had great taste. She fell to her knees, and continued to whisper yes between Scott’s kisses.

 

Their intimate moment was broken by the loud banging and opening of the rink’s doors. “It’s about fucking time!” He wasn’t sure which of his brothers shouted, but his mother popped both of them on the back of the head for good measure. 

Wiping away their happy tears, they rejoined their families and Tessa began a lively retelling of Scott’s proposal. She noticed that Scott gave Jordan a high-five, and she was patting him on the back with relief. “Wait… what’s going on with you?” 

Jordan looked at Scott for permission, and he nodded his consent. “It was my job to get you to Ilderton.” Tessa’s mouth dropped in surprise, and Jordan yelled in excitement. “In your face! I CAN keep a secret! Woo!” A very uncoordinated victory dance made everyone laugh, “I didn’t know how I was going to do it, man… I was thinking that I could make you think he was having an affair, but then you just were so mopey about the non-proposals. It just came to me - YOU should propose!”

Scott looked at his future sister-in-law in horror. “Wait a freaking minute, you were going to tell her I was CHEATING on her to get her here?!”

Jordan did not appear to see the problem with this strategy. “Yeah, but I didn’t… like I said, I told her to propose to you instead.”

Tessa couldn’t stifle the giggle as Scott’s nostrils flared and his face turned red. He should have realized the potential disasters that could result from working with her sister by now. “That’s not any better!”

 

Finally alone, they decided to head to Tessa’s cottage to properly celebrate their engagement. Tessa reached for her phone, and they knew there were a hundred people they needed to call. Looking at one another, they knew the second person to call after Marie-France and Patch was Derek. 

“Please for fuck’s sake tell me you’re engaged!” Derek was yelling over the noise of another Hollywood party.

They looked at each other, and Tessa spoke a little louder for Derek’s sake. “We just said yes! You better make sure you’re official!” If Derek screwed up their wedding by not being a legal officiant, Tessa would do unspeakable things to his body with her skates.

“Look, I’m glad I got you both on the phone. I’ve got a proposition for you… Drunk WEDDING! It’ll be great!” Derek continued trying to sell them on his latest spinoff, but they were too busy laughing and shaking their heads. 

Scott made some obviously fake static noise before ending the call, and pulled Tessa to his chest. “No more tv shows.” He kissed the top of her head. “No more Hollywood.” He kissed her temple. “Just us… that’s all we’ve ever needed.” He kissed her neck, and Tessa couldn’t agree more.


End file.
